Living the MCP term

Today Masha, Anya and me had meeting with CSR director of TNK-BP. For 2 hours he was sharing his opinion about russian economy, youth issues, corruption & bureocracy. About labor market and democracy vs power. We were sitting in a pub and in a clouds of smoke, looking at his expensive shirt with blue stripes I realized that it IS the moment I love. The story to tell.
It has started for me few weeks ago when Varia gave me the book about Khodorkivsky - it was the first time when i REALLY started to think about natural resources based economy, about business being under control of government as well as almost all organizations, NGOs etc. which may possibly have influence and power. No, it's not totalitarism, but for sure not civil society. First and foremost because citizens have no idea what is it and how to make it happen. More than half century of communism influenced Russia more than ANY other countries which were occupied, and i hate when young polish, estonians etc. somehow blame young russians in being "ossupants" of their countries. What a bullshit.

I realized, that for me "non-political and independent" doesn't mean "indifferent" what often happens with us, unfortunately.

I want to ask my LCPs about constitution - do they know what it's about?

And I now see that the way we work with issues is a bit bullshit and it could be much more powerful if we felt included. Part of society. Not "existing in dreaming world" organization, coming back to earth just to get some money & recruit students.
I'm thinking now, how to share all these with my team and my country.
***

Anula just told me that because of some family issues she needs to go to Poland immediately till January. I can do nothing with it, so I'm quite calm - there are no such problems that we can't manage. But then she goes from my room and I'm starting crying - why me? Why do my team falling apart (family issues, exams, smth BIG and unexpected). Sure, I'll manage, We will manage. But why?

And then I come to the thought that everything what happens to us is just the consequence of our choices and attitudes.

Actually, thinking about my term I never had in mind "dream team". Success - yes. Something outstanding - yes. Amazing individuals - yes.
All these is for sure selfish.

To be special. To spend year in a way that makes it precious. To be with cool people.
Cause others judge you based on these criteria: who are your friends? are they smart? successful? what have you done? is it meaningful? challenge? achievement?

Medal always has two sides. I love people and trust in them. I want to be loved.

And I have no fucking idea how will we finish the year. The only thing I'm sure about that I'm gonna enjoy the process of building and exploring. To write stories as the one with the guy. Results matters only if you WERE there. Really. Every day.